There are certainly times I’ve felt mom shamed and each experience hurt me deeply in the moment. But looking back I realize that the shamer was really projecting their own insecurities. It was never about me. The truth is that we are all doing our best as parents and in many ways are just “winging it”. This is the role that we want to be best at in life — we each love our children so fiercely. But sadly society has put so much burden and pressure on mothers that somehow seeing someone else make a different choice has a way of making us question our own choices. Unfortunately this can lead to defensiveness and fear, causing some to lash out and shame others. What all mothers need is less judgment, and more support, especially the shamers.

I’m really inspired by mothers that parent differently than me. As a first born, type-A woman I sometimes succumb to “shoulds” and “supposed tos” so it’s refreshing and inspiring to see that there are so many ways to parent and grow amazing humans.

As a first time mama I dedicated my life completely to breastfeeding and really it stole the joy out of early motherhood for me because it was so painful and wasn’t clicking for me or my newborn daughter. I remember buying formula and it haunting me from the kitchen. But at four months, I knew it just wasn’t working. I started feeding a combination of breastmilk and formula and it was such a relief. My daughter was calmer, I was calmer, everything suddenly clicked.

I feel like the motherhood community can be too child-centered and it’s important that we put women and their needs at the center of motherhood. When we focus on ensuring mothers thrive, children and families thrive, and ultimately the entire world thrives. Motherhood is one of the most universal human experiences and we are so much stronger together.

It varies and is constantly evolving especially during the current pandemic but I MUTHA myself by eating well, prioritizing sleep, and making time to workout and connect with the mamas in my village who feed my soul.